IRENE GRINDELL

Changing the way we respond to Conflict


Is conflict getting in your way?

It certainly has a tendency to do that. Conflict is a natural occurrence in our planet and between its residents i.e. people. We view it as negative and either avoid confrontation like a plague or fight back by getting aggressive and demanding.

Conflict is often toxic and infects others similar to any other virus but there is a very effective antidote which dates back as far as our ancestors who lived in caves and spent their days as hunter gatherers.

Although anger is one of the oldest emotions as it gave early humans the drive/energy to survive, it is actually just a biochemical reaction and we can learn to use it in a constructive and productive way. As humans we are hardwired to fight or flee and it’s an unconscious reaction. Fight response is normally attack other/defend self and the flight response is avoiding unpleasant situations which unfortunately tends to create more stress, tension and conflict in the long run.

Unless we deal with conflict head on by talking through it in a safe place, free from high emotions which drive drama then it just festers away in the background. Often it can remain there for years impacting on individuals, teams and productivity. Worse still it infects others and normally ends up with those involved unable to manage their response to it. Its implications are often so much more than financial as it impacts on health and wellbeing, confidence, creativity and motivation


Workplace mediation




Human Resource staff normally try to pick up the pieces once the conflict is brought to their attention, but are often viewed with suspicion i.e. fear (flight) or anger (fight). There goes that hardwiring unconscious self-protecting instinct kicking in again.


MEDIATION helps people to finally sort things out. It is a safe process where the parties involved get an opportunity to vent about the impact in a safe place with an experienced caring and supportive mediator on a 121 basis. The parties get to think through their needs and plan how to share things in a safe way with the other person later in the day.


The mediator has a number of tools to help people move away from the problem and the conflict zone towards resolution.

After the individual meetings with both parties, when they are feeling safe and confident they are then invited to meet with the other. There is a tried and tested safe process to guide them through the joint meeting.

The mediator will help them to move past any hurt, anger, resentment or emotional pain in the individual meetings therefore they are more confident and creative about solving the issues in their relationship with each other.

Let IGRC handle your energy draining and ongoing conflict situations. We have an extremely high success rate. We support the client and the parties, before during and after the mediation.


Mediation between 2 parties

Whenever we feel a conflict is taking over our life, it seems to grow even more. Our entire mind gets hijacked and we tend to overthink and focus on the negative, until we can address it. We can feel overwhelmed and stuck, not sure where to go or what to do next.

IGRC can help you sort through the confusion, tension and anxiety caused by the conflict. We use various powerful yet simple tools and techniques to coach you so that you feel much more confident about other options. We offer an emphatic and compassionate shoulder to cry on, a safe place to vent and practical tips and tools to empower you. Our process is exceptional in supporting you to feel safe and confident discussing the issues and our focus is always on you. We firmly believe in the process and help you both identify your needs going forward and decide how you are going to work together in the future in a safer way.

Irene has a vast amount of expertise which spans all types of coaching techniques. Her speciality however is working with people in conflict who are struggling to deal with it in a constructive productive manner.

Conflict drains our energy, our self-belief/confidence and self-esteem. We tend to focus on the problem and cannot see any light at the end of that proverbial tunnel. It can get more and more challenging to have productive conversations and the conflict can even spread into other areas of our life

 The process.

  • Contacting both parties initially by phone prior to the mediation
  • Individual initial meeting with both parties in a neutral environment
  • Follow on meeting
  • Joint meeting
  • Writing up an agreement
  • Follow up support

If you want to know more about the process or have any questions please fill in a contact form and we will get back to you by your desired method ASAP.


Team mediation (more than 2 parties)

A similar process to 2 party mediation insomuch as we use the same skill set and tools but a completely different ballgame. Teams are normally a complex structure of a thousand and one different variables and therefore need a more structured approach. IGRC approach team mediation with an experienced pair of mediators confident with handling high emotion and stressful situations.

Initially each party to the conflict will have an individual meeting with the mediators so they can then plan out the best approach going forward that would meet the needs of the individuals and have the best possibility of a positive outcome for the team.

Each team mediation is bespoke around the needs of the group, we do not use a 1 size fits all approach and therefore the intervention can vary in time spent with the parties and therefore the cost. However we strive to give you the client excellent value for money at all times.

We normally assist the team to draw up some sort of an agreement at the end of the process which tends to become their very own Team Charter.

The process is adapted for each and every team. It includes initial contact with each individual, planning the mediation day and write up of any agreed resolutions. Support is provided before, during and after the mediation.


Community Mediation 


IGRC Definition of Community Mediation

Mediation is a process where independent, impartial mediators help parties to recognise and acknowledge their place in a dispute. It is a voluntary process and works best when the parties involved are willing to look for a resolution.

 

Community mediation is a confidential process, and is flexible to the needs of all the participants.

 

Mediators facilitate the process without giving advice or expressing opinions and help the parties to outline a realistic way forward. Mediators work in an empathic and non-judgemental way.

 

Community Mediators meet the parties individually in their own home initially and work in pairs to role model respectful and assertive communication. If both parties are in agreement mediators will arrange a neutral venue to bring them together. The parties are encouraged to talk openly to each other and the mediator facilitates a safe conversation where they can acknowledge differences and recognise common grounds and shared needs.

 

Mediators control the process of mediation while the parties control the content. Mediation allows a frank exchange, airing of views and a space to take responsibility for resolution.

 

Mediators are not judges, arbitrators, advocates, counsellors, advisors, fixers or friends. Mediators do not give advice, suggestions or solutions; they do not have the answers or new ideas.

 

The principles of mediation

 Impartiality

   Independence

 Neutral

 Voluntary participation

 Confidential